Feeling refreshed as I tucked Belle and John into bed later, I had a sneaky suspicion I would be at the hospital when they woke in the morning. After Hamilton laid down for an early night around 8:15, I noticed my contractions were getting significantly stronger. I really wanted to spend most of my early labor at home this time instead of waiting forever to dilate confined to a hospital bed. I turned on a Christmas movie and began wrapping presents. Around 9:30, I decided to start timing my contractions. As the intensity increased and the intervals grew closer, I had no doubt I was in real labor. At one point, I took a 41.4 week selfie. I remember wanting to capture how wonderful and magical everything felt during those early hours of labor with Christmas all around me. I could feel James actively working his way down, and I was really relishing the slow and quiet labor being experienced by just the two of us. Yes, the contractions themselves were painful, but during the rest intervals, I kept gazing at the sweet first Christmas stocking his daddy and siblings had bought and anticipating the little Christmas blessing I would soon be bringing home.
About 12:30am, I ceased all recordings and shifted into going-to-the-hospital-right-NOW mode. (In retrospect, I should've gone a little earlier) Right after I phoned my mom to come over to watch the kids, my water broke, and I finally woke up Hamilton. He reprimanded me for not waking him earlier, but knowing his need for sleep, I was trying to give him as much rest as possible before being up the remainder of the night. Thankfully, we live only a few minutes from the hospital, and we were walking into the Emergency Room about twenty after one. I was really hurting and grateful Hamilton was answering the zillion questions the hospital staff was asking before they would admit me. Since I was dilated to a 7, I was sent straight to the delivery room where I continued to steadily contract every few minutes. With the pain getting quite intense, Hamilton suggested I opt for an epidural. One nurse questioned whether we had enough time, but they ended up deciding it was worth a try. By the time the anesthesiologist arrived shortly before 3:00, I was eager to get the relief he promised. Unfortunately, I never felt it. I was barely able to bend over for his needle, and by the time they sat me back up, the doctor had arrived and told me we were ready to begin pushing.
About this time, everything became a blur and moved too quickly. I remember Hamilton being whisked back into the room and how he kept urging me to "Calm down." The truth is, I was anything but calm. My cries had turned into screams, which I am sure could be heard all the way on the fifth floor of the hospital. I kept exclaiming, "I can't do this!" I faintly heard Dr. Redmond repeatedly tell me to "Pull it together!" I felt most of John's delivery, but the pain I was experiencing with James was on an entirely different level which words can't even describe. I must've been on the brink of fainting because the room was spinning, and I kept drifting only to be pulled back into the room by the team of medical staff coaxing me to push. Later, Hamilton testified that my eyes kept rolling back into my head, and I was screaming louder than a gunshot victim. It didn't help that I felt rushed. The doctor seemed in a hurry for me to deliver, something I didn't remember happening with my other two children. At one point, I kept hearing them talking about calling respiratory, and I asked, "Is he ok?" Dr. Redmond very sternly responded, "NO, he isn't. You need to push and help him NOW." Despite what anyone in the room may have thought, I was trying. Then it happened. I saw the doctor glance at the monitor and then instruct the nurse to hand her the vacuum. (Much later, I was told the urgency was the result of a "true knot" in James' umbilical cord. As he descended, the knot was tightening, and his heart rate was plummeting, so as Hamilton says, "The doctor snatched him out.") The scary looking device still haunts me. I had a mirror setup to help me push, so I also saw this nightmarish instrument being used on my baby. Not only did it look awful, it felt even worse. Nevertheless, with the horrible vacuum and a few more pushes, my sweet James entered the air-breathing world at 3:19am on Saturday, December 6th. (4 days overdue)
In an instant, I grew oblivious to anyone in the room except the precious gift from God lying on my chest. I felt an array of emotions ranging from joy, relief, and guilt. He was beautiful, and I was a recovering basket case from the shock of his delivery. I kept apologizing to for not calmly bringing him into the world like my first two children. I sang to him, talked to him and nursed him for well over an hour before anyone dared to take him from me. I am so thankful for all that time to initially bond with little James. I think God, my husband, and the medical staff knew I needed y baby close after the dramatic delivery. I remember reluctantly asking Hamilton if he wanted a turn to hold him, but he lovingly and patiently told me to take my time. Eventually, the nurses politely told me he really needed to be weighed and entered into the computer. As I handed him over, I suddenly remembered he was almost an hour and half old, and I hadn't even got a picture of him yet. (For those of you who know me, this reveals just how OUT of it I was). I asked Hamilton to get a picture of him on the scale, and we got a few more in the delivery room with daddy and grandaddy holding him for the first time. I had told everyone to just wait until the morning to come to the hospital, but my dad insisted on sitting in the waiting room in the middle of the night. Admittedly, I am glad he was there for moral support and to go on a biscuit run for my hubby in the wee hours of the morning!
Not long after I was moved to a postpartum room, Belle & John arrived bright and early to meet their baby brother. They were beyond excited, and we had a fun little BIRTHday celebration. One of my favorite memories that morning, however, was our family prayer blessing over our new addition. Christ truly brings a peace that passes all understanding. If only I had prayed more and meditated on the handwritten Bible verse Belle gave me, perhaps I would have been calmer during delivery. I suppose my hardship was all part of God's plan though. Oh Eve! Thanks for the curse! I definitely experienced great pain in childbirth! So thankful for God's grace though, and the joy that comes in the morning! James is an absolute blessing! I can't imagine life without his sweet little face. He completes our family perfectly!God is good!
